Twenty-second of December, a year ago.

It will be another blue Christmas, start from tomorrow. Will you realize?

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else ♥

Kinda in love with them.

TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT ❤

Happy Sweet 22nd Birthday 
to my fave girl ever ;)
Stay sweet and awesome!
Thanks for teaching me to be fearless. You are beautiful and very talented. Be blessed always for the beautiful melodies from your heart that you bring to us :')
MUCH LOVE <3

Taylor Alison Gardner Finlay Kingsley Swift

Here are Taylor's newest songs. Check it out!
1.  Ours
2. If This Was a Movie
3. Superman

-Mich-

Last Friday Night :)

So heeey. Super late post :P
I'm gonna tell you all about my last friday afternoon exactly :) with these fellas

BOBBY HIZKIA

I call him 'Lautner' but yeah whatever :P
Last friday night he ate Chicken Mozarella(bold italic underline. yikes o_o) and he sat in front of me. Eating with so much joy like seriously while I'm waiting my freakin lame steak to come. He's a good boy though. We've been in the same grade from 7 to 8. GO visit his page here :) Bobby Hizkia

HANDY 

Haha! So this is Handy. He ordered ayam saus mentega but sadly it's out of stock that day :P so he just ordered fried rice :) fastest food that come. Yikes. Makes me even more hungry. By the way, he's searchin some kind of Christmas gift for his GF :3 sweet, isn't he?

AMELIA PERMATASARI

Sooo this is my sweety-cutie-smartie little daughter :3 ordering the same food as Bobby. Those-are-delicious. I know her since 7 grade and yeah we're in the same class again now :) she just cut her hair :3 still cute, eh? But I kinda miss your long hair sweetie, but never mind ;) hope you enjoyed our last friday afternoon together dear! Relax and take a break 

<3

We watched Machine Gun Preacher good moral values movie. Although the beginning some kind of..........okay just watch it :P I'm not telling you

having the best time with you guys. we should hang up again, eh? Gonna miss everyone for Christmas holiday is coming :')

Unintended

What a great Friday with 3 fellas (: gonna post some pictures and details about today maybe tomorrow afternoon haha.

Okay it is 10:41PM when I'm writing this, between dizziness and insomnia awaits. fyi: I bought a very creepy book titled "13 Reasons Why", it does creep me out. Ouch.

I think I should sleep now, my mom just came inside my room and as fast as I could try to put my phone on the table. Gotcha. She saw me and ask me to sleep.

Well, seriously sorry mom, if you were in my age, you'll understand why I'm staying awake at night.

Dear boy who--maybe--accidentally appear in my mind. I think of you these nights, automatically. Cute, eh? (': (for you who know, you might be thinking of my ex but no, this boy isn't my ex)
One thing to say, thanks. For what you've done until now (: I'm talking about good things now. Really glad and happy to know you. Wish you're not one of the jerks. I............okay hold the word. It's not the time to say this :p

Earphones in, volumes up. Automatically, Unintended by Muse just played when I shuffle my songs. Feel like closing my eyes now. Yeah typing without seeing are cool, isn't it?

Good night.

"Unintended-Muse"


You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love


I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before


First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you


You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love


I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before


I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before


Before you

Jar of Hearts

Well, hello.
I kinda wasting my tears the whole night. But it doesn't make me feel better this morning.
Call me stupid girl or whatever. I just wanna be heartless, you know? So then I won't ever be broken by any relationship in this age.
Here, make it straight. Thanks for still reading this stupid post by the way :p

"I just want to be loved",
This words may say everything that teenagers need now. Just like me now. But I've promised to myself to not ever fall again with boys until the time.

But there's kinda one boy who never left my mind. Just appear like ghost. I just want to start a new life. Well, I don't hate him. I miss everything we used to be. As a friend, we still can chat, talk things and my more. But why does he choose to stop? Do you feel like you're annoyed me? No, you're not.

Well, it is true that after broke up, take really long time to ever be friends again each other. Must admit it. Please someone tell me what to do? :(

"Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri"


No, I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most


I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time


[Chorus:]
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?


I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms


I've learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time


[Chorus:]
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?


Dear, It took so long just to feel all right
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back


And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all


[Chorus:]
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all


Who do you think you are?


Who do you think you are?


Who do you think you are?

We found love in a hopeless place :)

Unrequited love, here we go.

She's not a playgirl, not a player
Just a girl, just a dreamer
Wishing for love that won't ever grow
Never figure out how to show

As time goes by I realize
Deep inside her heart, she cries
Try to fixing the broken pieces there
While her love go wandering to somewhere

She fake smiles to make him believe
That she's strong enough to love and live

Turn around, girl, turn around
Do you hear I'm making this song?
You're not the only one who stuck in pain
Follow me, let's dance in the rain

Turn around, girl, turn around
'Cause I never know how to sing this song
With my love for you stuck deep inside
Just wishing one day you would realize

She gets closer to him, fearless
Her moves make me so speechless
I want to tell the truth but I'm afraid
Our togetherness would turn out to be a fight

I give my best to help her
Even if she'd never realize my true feelings
And finally she broke again
Broke into more pieces she can't explain

She fakes another smile to make him believe
That she's strong enough to love and live

Turn around, girl, turn around
Do you hear I'm making this song?
You're not the only one who stuck in pain
Come with me, dance in the rain

Turn around, girl, turn around
'Cause I never know how to sing this song
With my love for you stuck deep inside
Just wishing one day you would realize

She keeps saying that she's alone
While I'm here with her in this town
I listen to her dreams, wipe her tears
While she cries and tell me about her fears
She can't forget him, yes I know
Every time she say it, I'm such a broken vow
But once more time girl
Please, turn around

Turn around, girl, turn around
Do you know how painful is this song?
You're not the only one who stuck in pain
Come with me, dance in the rain

Turn around, girl, turn around
'Cause I know how painful is this song
My love for you still stuck deep inside

It will always there so we won't have a fight

Turn around, just once maybe?
Turn around and let your heart free
Turn around and finally you'll see
Turn around, you won't be alone with me

P.S this is a lyric created by me, titled "Turn Around". Gonna compose the melodies in this holiday maybe :) I'll upload the recording of the melodies if m sure enough haha. Still a rookie at this thing.

Enjoy reading by the way!
(You could change 'her' 'she' into 'him' 'his' and 'he' ;)

"I want him, but I'm too shy"

So this is a sad story I found from tumblr. Check this out:

10th Grade:
As I sat there in English class..
I stared at the girl next to me.

She is my so called "bestfriend"
I stared at her long silky hair, and wished she was mine.

But she didn't notice me like that and I knew it.

After class..
She walked up to me and asked me for the notes she has missed the day before and handed them to her.

She said "THANKS" and gave me a kiss on the cheek :)

11th grade:
The phone rang..
On the other end, it was her.
She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over..
Because she didn't want to be alone, so I did.

As I sat next to her on the sofa,
I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.

After two hours..
One Drew Barrymore movie and three bags of chips
She decided to go to sleep

She looked at me and said "thanks"
And gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Senior year:
The day before prom..
She walked to my locker,
"He's not going to go well, I didn't have a date."

And in 7th grade..
We made a promise that if neither of us had dates. We would go together just as Bestfriends..
So we did

Prom Night..
After everything was over, I was standing at her front doorstep.
I stared at her as she smiled at me and wished she was mine.

Then she said,
"I had the best time, thanks"
And gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Graduation Day:
A day passed, then a week, then a month.
It was graduation day.

I watched her as she floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma.

I wanted her to be mine but she didn't notice me like that and I knew it.

Before everyone went home,
She came to me with her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her.

Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said,
"You're my bestfriend, thanks"
And she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

A few years later:
Now I'm sitting in the pews of the church.
My bestfriend is getting married now.

I watched her say "I do",
And drive off to her new life, married to another man.

But before she drove away, she came to me and said,
"You came, thanks"
And she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Funeral:
She died of cancer few years later.
I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my bestfriend.

After the service..
Her mom came to me and said,
"She wants you to keep this"
..It's her highschool diary.

I read a diary entry she had wrote in our highschool years.

This is what I read:
"I stare at him, wishing he was mine. But he doesn't notice me like that and I know it.

I want to tell him..
I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends.

I LOVE HIM but I'm just too shy and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me. And I wish I did too"

..I thought to myself and cried.



-p.s: sooo after reading this, yeah kinda teary :') fight for your love, find the perfect time, enjoy every moment and God bless you!-

Addicted

This is weird.

I don't even know when I have to move, to hold, to keep or to stay. Someone please tell me how to :(

"Life makes love look hard"

So long dear blog hehey :)
Back again with craziness, vacant stares and empty heart throughout this week and closer to final test. 


I'm so dead.


Problems never bored to come over and over again. So here are some things that make me pissed off:


1. Hey ex(s), or should I call both of ya jerks? Haha. Have a life, you two are totally different  jerks. Thankfully I'm single now. Teehee


2. Truth does hurts. God already write our story. Maybe I can only live, for now


3. Being single, I repeat, BEING SINGLE, is not as easy as you think. Once you thought it as freedom but admit it, all you see are happy couples. That feeling to be loved may appear whenever you let yourself empty. So, live for today and start to think positive. Close your eyes, close your ears and close your mouth. Just fake a smile :) fake it til you make it


4. One says "eating is such a workout". Heckyeah, Patrick Star, you right. By that quotes, I'm terribly eat too much now. Can you tell me how to stop, eh? :s


And and and


I just watched Breaking Dawn last friday night(yeah we dance on tabletops, uh whatever)
AMAZING MOVIE, very recommended. Uhm but I watch it with my mom. *pokerface* and when the scene goes to "not-for-my-old-scene", I'm just like trying to look busy while my mom staring.....yeah staring. Weird and awkward moment.


But yeaaah the wedding scene :') so ouch. Here's a pic of the scene

Ouch, Ed :) you look gorgeous

Eh ada si ganteng :* aaaa






















so to close this super random post, I wanna tell you all something


"Life makes love look hard"
that's the title of this post.
Live your life with love. Love was born to be nothing but simple and happy. 
Love is something you can be happy of,
something you can share of,
something you can smile of,
something that can build you,
something that can cheer you,
something to hold on,
something to feel, not to think,
something that should be thankful in this life,
something to be sacrificed,
something built to last,
something to believe.


Like just Rihanna says these days "we found love in a hopeless place" :)


keep believing! no matter how much you've been hurt.
At first, God will lead you into the wrong person that don't even worth your smile or your precious tears.
By one mistake, you'll realize if it's not love or only admiring.
LOVE and ADMIRING are totally different
make sure you've made a right decision in your life.
The only matter is you really want to be loved.
Try to love :) let it all flows. If you can't forget it then don't. Time will answer which girl/boy that worth fighting for. Or follow me to be single ;) haha


Life makes love look hard? Not anymore :)


-Mich-

The Story of Us

So there's this Taylor Swift song that make me feel kinda awkward. Seems like she was stealing my diary. This lyric is so me, here's the lyric:


I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say, "They're the lucky ones."
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.

Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wish you knew,
So many walls that I can't break through.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

Next chapter.

How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like they care less,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now.
And we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate 'cause we're going down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

The end. 


YEAH SOOO..
Thanks a lot Tay, this is really me. I just dunno what to say now. Maybe people will see how cheerful I am now. But, seriously when I'm quiet, thousand things comes through my mind. I'm enough of pointless teenage relationship drama. Time to take a full rest from all of these. I just wanna focused on everything I do, but every single little thing keep making me remember him lately. 
And now I feel kinda in love with this 2 boys (whatever, call me a playgirl, bruh? :P)
And stupidly-yet-childishly I dunno is it real love or just another crush? I seriously dunno the difference between like, love and admire.
You may think that fixing my heart is as easy as I laugh everyday at class. Remember, you can never really fix a broken heart. Gather all of the pieces and heal up the wounds? Takes time, longer than our ex does.
I'm just afraid if I open my heart, I will be hurt with the same mess and mistakes all over again.


My last message to dude(s) out there that maybe doesn't even know my blog (I won't tell them haha)


So, to someone out there who's trying to chasing the new girl haha, good luck dude. Just want you to now, I'm totally fine. Go, chase your love, find someone who can give you more than I gave to you. Chase your dream, I'm still your friend, we can chat, right? :) You're the best thing that ever been mine. 238 :')


And another dude who stressed out, you're smart enough to know the best for you. Even if we barely talk now, I just wanna say sorry if I ever hurt you knowingly or unknowingly. Good luck. Go get good scores. Don't be too selfish and don't make everything in a rush :) take care! Thanks for bitter-sweet 6 months without real-ationship :)


Dear, cute-face dude. I like your face. A-lot. Don't care if one day you ever read this haha. You're just nothing more than a dream, your smile isn't for me. We just chat once, remember? Good luck for the final exam before you go to University in next year! Always hope the best for ya, secret admirer here :P


Last but not least,
to a dude out there that probably read this, open your eyes, and listen to "You belong with me- Taylor Swift" song. It really tells my feeling now. Good luck and see ya!


-Mich-

First Post

Well, then people.
This is my newest blog. I'm in the mood of blogging just like now.
Blogging must be full of fun-ness yet full of memories.
No, you won't be my own diary, bloggy ;p
But I'm gonna share some post here that really describe my stories.
So then, happy reading! Enjoy 

Keep da faith ;)


-Mich-